The fact that Heather had been through the same things I was going through made such a difference. Anything I talked to her about she had experienced and was on the other side of it and could help. She helped me learn not to dwell on things, and to live in the solution. She would say, ‘I understand, Meg, but do we want to stay here or do we want to move forward?’ (laughs)
At any point in time, but especially when I was struggling or emotional, I could make a call and reach out. Someone would get right back to me. Something that felt life-altering on my end could be addressed or solved immediately. Herren Wellness was always there, for both of us. It was therapy for all of us.
My family had all been through the hurt with me, so their perspective – at that point in time – was different than someone like Heather, who totally understood what I was going through. I had someone who had been in my shoes and could totally relate.
A million life events happen when a loved on is in treatment, and you still have to deal with them, and she was there for me. Dan had to focus on his own recovery, so I needed someone who could be available. In the end, what’s more important? Having him come back sober, or him being there for a kid’s doctor’s appointment?
I don’t know how many times I heard, ‘this isn’t a sprint, Meg’. (laughs)
Everyone there was looking out for Dan, for me, and for the kids.
It wasn’t all pretty, and of course we all had our moments, but they were there to help me understand what was helpful and what wasn’t. For everyone.
In the other places Dan went for treatment, I would pick him up on the last day and try to implement the suggestions given for him, but I didn’t know what to do. At other places, I got a lot of information, watched all the videos, but there were no tools for the family.
Coming to Herren Wellness, we all dug into the ‘why’. We were dealing with things that probably should have been dealt with years ago. We began talking about things that had been there for a long time and never addressed.
It’s continuous, ongoing support.
We all share our stories. The message is: ‘Don’t bury it.’ We talk about things, and we help each other. I can’t imagine if I had to deal with everything on my own shoulders. It’s not possible, and it doesn’t work.
The support – from everyone – is so important.
Where I am today, from where I used to be, also gives me a chance to give back and help others.
All the support I continue to get from Herren Project is amazing as well. The online support groups give me people who are there with me through all the highs and lows, who celebrate with me for the successes, and who offer support during the hard times. I know I’m not in this alone.